cantonblue

him. my dignity.

Mkay. I'm kind of in love. *sigh*

Fuck work
Fuck friends
Fuck men
Fuck women
Fuck this journal
Fuck alcohol
Fuck my health
Fuck bills
Fuck me

Sigh...

I'll explain later. I'm drunk and going to bed.

Why do I let myself do the stupidiest shit when I'm drunk? Saturday night I went to a party in DC and made out with this really sweet chick's boyfriend. Apparently she introduced him to me as her boyfriend but at the time I had to idea. I was fuckin wasted and went home and puked all night all over my new white dress. I just sent her a message and facebook and apologized. My face feels so hot right now, I feel so shitty about it. And now Charlotte's mad at me, too, because that girl is one of her close friends. Ugh.

 This girls house in DC for Andre's goin away party! He's going to Alaska :)

Haha, yes. Used to go all the time last summer with old friends. We were always naked around each other. 

I don't have one because the world's gonna end in 2012 anyway.

I kicked it

1) My virginity
2) Myself
3) Brain cells
4) My Star of David on that necklace
5) My dignity
6) This mutant ninja turtle shaped potato chip that I could have sold on ebay for mad money but ate instead
7) My other lip rings

 

 When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or a picture falls off the wall, it makes noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think as it’s so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, it’s internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loudly your ears ring and your heart aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white caught in the sea, it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That’s what it looks like and that’s what is sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped, great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that’s the thing about love; no one is untouchable. It’s as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it’s silent, you’re just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

If You Could See Me Now, Cecelia Ahern

 I am the therapist. I listen to everyone's problems and give them advice.

 Wow. I am really pissed right now. 

I really hate being lied to. Not gonna say anything though. 

Elona, you're a dumb slut.

Uhhh. They're not too much different. I just party with nastier people now. Sigh.

So I haven't left my house since Sunday morning and I can feel the weight I'm gaining in my face and in my sides and legs and ass. I hate bein sick because I eat sooo much and I don't wake up for shit. Sigh

 Maybe because I get drunk and throw tantrums and hit people.
Or I get drunk and say and do stupid shit. Or I might fuck people over. That deserve it, of course.
Whatever I don't care.

I am not fucking going out til Cinco De Mayo.

Gisselle and I went on Saturday night and hit up three parties. We both didn't drive and then fuckin decided at four in the morning that we were gonna metro home from College Park

We started walking at four. Got to the metro at five thirty. Waited for it to open til six thiry. Got to Fort Totten at seven something. Walked home and got home at 8:45.

I am sooo sick now from walking out in the cold for hours. My head hurts my body hurts my fuckin teeth hurt from the headache.

:( I'm not going out for awhile.  And I missed work today fuck fuck. I needa start selling shit on Craigs list or something.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i'm not pretty enough for all her rich LA booby fake friends. i'm scared.

I hate it when men make strong girls weak.

I am visiting her 5/22-5/25. Why can't she be closer?

She'll probably fuck around on me. Ugh stop telling me abour your hot model ex girlfriends and the huge dicks you've fucked. I love you.

Tonights a crazy night in my head again. Sigh.

I am so lame.

-Cigs
-Lipgloss
-Eyeliner
-Keys
-Phone